Remember, Remember

 And I am in love, and I am terrified. There goes Katharine, my cue that I should stop, I should calm myself. I had to change my mood before my sister notices.  Curtained Balcony of Cordoba by Paul J. Bucknall, 2011 I stopped but tears still rolled down my cheeks. I sat silently in the veranda, wrapped my cardigan tighter to keep myself warm. That was the second time that I sobbed because of him. I had to cut our conversation so he wouldn't notice. Indeed, he didn't. I shouldn't feel this way. I knew from the beginning that everything will change and it would be pretty tough especially for me. I don't think it was a hasty decision because I was aware of it. I wanted it. I consciously agreed to it. And here I am, repairing my heart that suffers disappointment almost every day.  What I fear most these days is not of losing him one day, though I am almost certain it would not happen. On the contrary, I am afraid that I may lose myself along the way.  For days I have been i