Remember, Remember

Today, Facebook reminded me of a post I shared on this day two years ago. It was a photo of my 5-year-old self leading the pledge of loyalty back in grail school. In the caption of the said post, I wrote the lyrics of one of my favorite Taylor Swift tracks. It was my response to the malicious statements hurled against me by no less than our local chief executive earlier that morning via our community radio. How did I become so special? Days before that, I learned that the national government downloaded millions of funds to our local government through the Bayanihan One Act. To prevent the loss of lives and disruption of the economy due to the spread of the coronavirus, the government made sure that LGUs had enough funds to create measures or programs that would address the crisis efficiently. I'm sure it is still fresh in everyone's memory how things were during the first few weeks after the President declared a state of public health emergency throughout the entire country.  A...

It is the year 2022. What was supposed to be a year-long state of national health emergency is now in its second year. The coronavirus cases have surged dramatically due to the new omicron variant. People are stocking up on paracetamol as they did with face masks and alcohol in 2020. It looks like the city is not that bothered by the increase in cases, though. This time, there are no lockdown impositions. People who turned out positive with the virus, are no longer brought to a facility. Establishments, however, are stricter against unvaccinated people, which has sparked debates both locally and nationally. I have nothing against people who refuse to get vaccinated. Although, I do believe that the government should focus on intense vaccination education campaigns if it wants to change people's minds. At home, we have our own tiny bit of emergency — Ambin caught a fever. Nothing serious, it might just be the weather. It is flu season, after all. It has been raining intermittently fo...

 A few days before 2021 ended, I got a present from an old friend. She sent me images via Messenger and right below it, she wrote that she was proud of me for I made it happen.  Apparently, it was photos of my entry from her old slam book which I signed back in 2003 when we were just high school freshmen. I clicked the photos and my initial response was, "gosh, what ugly handwriting!" 😅 I asked for clearer photos to see what she meant by her being "proud of me" and there is the greatest achievement part I wrote: if I will be a lawyer. It was already past 11 in the evening when I zoomed in on the photos and yet I felt so awake. Like my friend, I was amazed by the revelation because firstly, I cannot remember ever actively dreaming of becoming a lawyer, and secondly, OMG YES, I REALLY DID MAKE IT HAPPEN! "Manifesting" is one of the online crazes of this pandemic. To manifest is to make something obvious. When you are manifesting, you think aspirational thou...

Time is so damn slow, I'm just growing old, I live like I'm dead. A lyric in the song Sober goes.  Sober was released sometime in 2015 by the Korean superstars BIGBANG. I was introduced to the KPOP group back in college by a good friend who is a huge fan. Though I hardly understand their language, I find their music quite compelling. I recently downloaded their entire discography on Spotify after seeing their movie MADE on Netflix. Since then, I've been feeling sentimental every time I hear their songs. Well, I do get emotional pretty easily. But this one is a mix of nostalgia, regret, and longing. I was in college when BIGBANG became massive. Together with Super Junior, 2ne1, Girls Generation and Wonder Girls, they ruled the MYX top lists, which I used to tune into back in the day. I remember walking from UP Tacloban to RTR Plaza with earphones on, playing their hits on my Nokia 5300. My earphones had wires and I'd insert it in my shirt. I used to like the long way hom...

Congrats, you're positive," said the woman on the other line. It was past 10 in the evening of June 19th when we were informed of the dreaded news. We had been anxious the entire day waiting for the results of our swab test. Although we'd been exhibiting all the common symptoms, we were still hoping it was nothing serious. But just as we were about to fall into a deep slumber, my phone rang and we were wide awake again. We got infected with the coronavirus. I started feeling sick five days prior. I was at the office when my body began feeling weak. My head was spinning and my vision, blurry. I could not finish my lunch. I wanted to go home early but I was afraid I might not make it safe. I tried keeping to myself for some time, waiting impatiently for the day to end. At about 4 in the afternoon, though, I was almost certain that I was having a fever. So I went out of our office and asked the security guard if he still had the thermometer gun with him. He pointed the gadget...

Today marks the seventh day since Ambin and I got hitched, aka our first "weeksary".  Rings by  Little White Pouch The hubs got up early this morning to prepare our breakfast. I spent a few minutes more in bed as I was still sleepy. We talked until midnight last night about how—seven days in—we still find it incredible that we are now husband and wife! We've been laughing at the thought that it's like we're just playing house. Ambin says that until I called his mother "Nanay", he wouldn't have realized that yes, we are indeed married already. Haha. Nothing much has changed except that now, we are inseparable—we cook together, eat together, watch Netflix together, and just the other day, did Zumba together. There's been a lot of playful roasting from both sides, too. This is probably the longest we've been together physically and so far, wala pa namang napipikon. Haha. It's a good kind of strange to be in this new chapter of our lives. Des...

My fiance and I were on the phone again earlier, talking about stuff that we want in our little home. I have been browsing through Shopee and Lazada for hours to find cute covers for our inexistent sofa bed. I really want to have a chic yet functional living space. I purposely avoided buying furniture or appliances, save for a dining set, because I want to do it once Ambin gets here. I sound clingy but honestly, I just don't want to get solely blamed when things don't work out. Haha. Ambin, on the other hand, has been hankering for a SONY TV. I told him there's none here. He said we could go to Cebu City to buy one. I responded, yeah since there's a direct trip from Calbayog City to Cebu. However, due to strict measures currently imposed, Cokaliong Shipping Lines only allows cargo shipment at the moment. We both let out a deep sigh. Then somewhere in between our frustration of our present state and excitement of what's ahead, fond memories in the Queen City of the S...

Yesterday, I assisted an accused during his inquest. He was charged with violation of the Safe Spaces Act. He drove around the downtown area then stopped and grabbed a woman's breasts. He was apprehended minutes later and brought to jail. He was a small guy and relatively young, only twenty-three years old. During his inquest, he never once looked at me. His head was always down and he almost sounded like he was sobbing. After the proceeding, the accused's father came to our office to ask for assistance in filing a motion to post bail for his son's temporary release. I looked at him and saw sadness and shame in his eyes. I told him to inquire at the City Prosecution's Office how much was the recommended bail amount. Then a security guard who was listening to our conversation said that he heard it was thirty-six thousand pesos. I turned to the father and asked, "do you have this amount?" I explained to him that we can wait until the case is filed in court so we...

I have been listening to Taylor Swift's new album, Folklore, this past month. I think my neighbors are already suspicious of me as I've been playing it almost every day since its release. My favorite tracks are Exile, Mirrorball, Epiphany, and Invisible String. The last one, I heard, is about her and her boyfriend of four years, Joe Alwyn. In the song, she mentions about where they were when they were younger, what happened during one of their dates, how he accepted all of her, and how cool that there was this invisible string that tied him to her. It's a really romantic song! I can imagine how happy and in love my girl Taytay is!  A lyric in Invisible String goes:  Were there clues I didn't see?  Apparently, she is in disbelief that the universe conspired to make them happen. Is it possible, though, that such a force exists? That something, say divine intervention/fate/destiny, leaves clues or signs to guide us to where we are supposed to be? Ages ago, around seventeen...

What can I tell you that doesn't sound like work? Because that's only been my life now.  Every day at 6 in the morning, I'd turn off my alarm, get up, and cook rice. And then I'd go back to bed and text my boyfriend "kaberns/kabernd/kabrns", our morning greetings. I'd get up again at 6:30, make my bed, unplug the rice cooker, and ready my things for work. I'd shower and then prepare my self. If it isn't raining, I'd walk to the office. Calbayog City has temporarily suspended public transport again for two weeks. If it is raining, I'd text my neighbor who is also my coworker if I could hitch a ride. I hitched a ride this whole week because I realized I hate walking to my workplace in the morning, it's hot and I'm all sweaty when I reach the office. Start pa lang ng araw pero lantang gulay na ako LOL. In a more normal circumstance, I'd take a tricycle to work. When the day ends, if it's raining, I'd again hitch a ride. But...

It's been four months since I assumed office as a Public Attorney and made Calbayog City my new home. A hundred days since I met my new family, seventeen weeks since I realized the promise I made to myself back in law school and three thousand hours of being grateful for this opportunity. It's been a rollercoaster ride ever since. I immediately attended hearings during my first week in the office. The previous lawyer assigned to my branch was appointed as a judge so needless to say, I have large shoes to fill. I didn't have time to mingle with my officemates for I only had a day or two to read the records of the cases set for that week. On my first appearance as a public attorney, I presented a witness in one case and requested some time to familiarize myself with the records in another. Thank God my DPA/immediate supervisor was kind enough to assist me and helped me navigate my way through. I wonder what impression I gave to the court and my fellow lawyers! 😅 Just as I wa...

In two days the results of the 2017 Bar Examinations will be released. On May 3rd, it will be a year since ours were posted. A year since my life made a huge turn.  I've been trying to write about the whole Bar experience but I still can't organize my thoughts. Too many memories come and go, and sometimes, I am left with nothing. At all. Though I did write drafts of other stories that I'd like to keep here. A birthday post. A latest project post. A post about the danger of not giving a f uc k. But I've deleted all of them, just now. I don't know 😕 Have you ever had that? That moment when you are dying to tell someone about these amazing things happening in your life but for some reason you just can't?  So I'll just sum it up: life has been good, so far.

I just resigned from my job and it took effect yesterday, December1st. During my last day at work, I went around and took a few photos of my workplace. I drove twice a day for 6 months but never really took pictures while there. Come to think of it, I rarely shoot things and events na. And when I do, I usually just keep it and not post any on the internet. I was as an administrative aide, a records custodian, at Alugan National School of Craftsmanship and Home Industries (ANSCHI), a high school located at a barangay outside our town. I kept the students' permanent records, report cards, diplomas and the like. When students decide to transfer in or out, I make sure they have the documents they need. I also did other clerical tasks when necessary.

The chismis is real! We're engaged! 💖 I was playing on my phone when I heard over the intercom that Marvin's plane has landed. I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that he's arrived safely. I immediately texted him where I was and where he should go so I'd see him. Each time a batch of passengers would come out from the building, I'd search for him, feeling a bit antsy. It's embarrassing but frankly, I wasn't sure how he actually looked, though we've just had a video call less than 24 hours ago. But when I saw him walking down the ramp, I knew for sure that that was him. It's been two years and it was only then that I realized how I've truly missed him! Like the moment when we first sat side by side as lovers, seeing him for the first time after a very long time felt pretty awkward. I was hesitant to display affection in front of hundreds of strangers. Lels. But he did kiss me on my forehead and I then gave him a hug - still in ...

Nine years ago I deleted my 9-year-old Facebook account and I'm glad I did, at long last. This isn't the first time I deactivated my social media account. I did it last year when I reviewed for the Bar. I was offline for about 4 or 5 months, though I wasn't on a total hiatus as I was active on Messenger and I'd sometimes check the social networking site to get my mind off things. But then 5 minutes later I'd get so annoyed by everything I see on my news feed and shut off my account again. I have been thinking of creating a new account since then. Ever since we outgrew Farmville, Facebook has become so toxic for me that I started hating it. Well, most of it was because of my own doing. Firstly, I added friends that I barely know. I'm a snob and people know that. So in an attempt to become more friendly and approachable, or at least appear to be one, I continued on accepting requests from kids that I haven't even met for as long as we have dozens of mut...

Signing of the Roll of Attorneys, Supreme Court of the Philippines, May 24, 2017 I was invited to give an inspirational message to the students of my alma mater in celebration of its 47th Founding Anniversary. The first thing that came to mind was, "Wait, what can I talk about eh I have no significant contribution to the society pa naman?" The second was, "why did they invite me?" What do they hope to hear from me? My politics? My hobbies? Or maybe my journey? 😅 I haven't really told anyone outside my family, even my best friends, about my entire law school journey so I was in a bit of a dilemma. Should I tell the truth about my humiliating struggles to strangers? Or sugarcoat things and skip the parts which are totally embarrassing? To be honest, I didn't want others to hear about what I've been through for not only does it bring back awful memories of the past, I likewise feel that no one is actually interested to know my story. I don't like t...

(Photo from Google Images) Everything is finally falling into place and dreams are coming true; I am at my happiest! I would like to remember this part of my life and have it live forever through here. Thank you, Lord, for answered prayers and cries heard. 💓

I've been reading Monica Ali's international bestselling novel, Brick Lane. Since I got home two months ago, I swore to pick up my pending summer reads to improve my grammar and vocabulary. It seems that my 5-year stay in suicide school made my English communication skills dull and rusty. However, I've been busy setting up my new business venture that I can't even finish a chapter in a day! But it's okay as  I don't have a schedule to stick to (perks of being unemployed 😅). Brick Lane is a story about Nazneen, a Bengali woman who moved to London after she was married off to a much older guy, Chanu. It's about her struggles in making sense of her existence in the strange new place and doing her duties as a wife and mother. The story has many characters with an equally rich background that almost instantly intrigued and entertained me. Few pages in I began highlighting phrases that tugged my heart and found this one quite striking:

Marvin and I celebrated our 5th anniversary as a couple by not talking to each other. Well, I, ignoring him. He got me incensed six days earlier for dropping me when I wanted to talk to him. I got hurt so bad I went MIA and never bothered to check up on him for almost a week. That's how it has been with Marvin. At least for the past couple of days. There are some days that we are infinite, we are happy. And some days that I just want to jump off a cliff and forget ever meeting him. Of course, I am exaggerating but I think you get how I feel. I try to blame it on distance and time zones. By it, I mean our petty fights. He works abroad while I review for my exams here in the Philippines. When he gets off his job, I am already asleep. When I wake up in the morning, I'll have to wait for five hours or so before I receive morning greetings from him. The next message that I will get will be another five hours later when he takes his lunch and the last would be when he gets home. Some...