Skip to main content

21

I had chicken pox on my birthday. Yes, on my birthday, and just before my midterm exams.

I should have known.

January 30th.

I fell asleep in the afternoon which was unusual since I have been experiencing trouble sleeping for days now. When I awoke, I rushed to school only to find that our classes were canceled. I came home feeling tired and cold. 

January 31st.

My birthday. I woke up with a heavy head and chills. Then, when I scratched my rib, some fluid came out. I instantly knew something was wrong. I called my sister about my symptoms and she confirmed it. Chicken pox. On my birthday. Just before midterms.

Of course, I went frantic.

And of course, I kept on asking why this has to happen. Why now? Why this? Why me? Yes, I may have been a tad bit overdramatic. But it's just natural to question things when misfortunes after misfortunes come your way, diba? I was so stressed about it that I told my mom that if I don't make it this semester, I am going to quit law school.

Just when I have decided to make things right, to focus, to give all I got to achieve something, just when I was starting to really set my eyes on the prize, this happened. For so long I've been on a journey of finding what is for me. My purpose. What if this is God telling me "no, this isn't for you?" 


Thank God still, I was able to travel back to Tacloban for a few days. We had a belated birthday celebration and I got to spend time with my family and the boyfriend who still gave me a kiss despite my lesions. Nagka-chicken pox na daw sya kaya safe na! Haha

Happy 21st birthday, self. Things may be hard now but you are okay. It's just a disease. Soon everything will be alright. Keep going.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In Sickness and In Health: Our COVID-19 Story

Congrats, you're positive," said the woman on the other line. It was past 10 in the evening of June 19th when we were informed of the dreaded news. We had been anxious the entire day waiting for the results of our swab test. Although we'd been exhibiting all the common symptoms, we were still hoping it was nothing serious. But just as we were about to fall into a deep slumber, my phone rang and we were wide awake again. We got infected with the coronavirus. I started feeling sick five days prior. I was at the office when my body began feeling weak. My head was spinning and my vision, blurry. I could not finish my lunch. I wanted to go home early but I was afraid I might not make it safe. I tried keeping to myself for some time, waiting impatiently for the day to end. At about 4 in the afternoon, though, I was almost certain that I was having a fever. So I went out of our office and asked the security guard if he still had the thermometer gun with him. He pointed the gadget...

Beginning & End

Time is so damn slow, I'm just growing old, I live like I'm dead. A lyric in the song Sober goes.  Sober was released sometime in 2015 by the Korean superstars BIGBANG. I was introduced to the KPOP group back in college by a good friend who is a huge fan. Though I hardly understand their language, I find their music quite compelling. I recently downloaded their entire discography on Spotify after seeing their movie MADE on Netflix. Since then, I've been feeling sentimental every time I hear their songs. Well, I do get emotional pretty easily. But this one is a mix of nostalgia, regret, and longing. I was in college when BIGBANG became massive. Together with Super Junior, 2ne1, Girls Generation and Wonder Girls, they ruled the MYX top lists, which I used to tune into back in the day. I remember walking from UP Tacloban to RTR Plaza with earphones on, playing their hits on my Nokia 5300. My earphones had wires and I'd insert it in my shirt. I used to like the long way hom...

There Will Be Days

Dandelion by Kamsar Ohanyan, 2021 There will be days when you wake up to a cuddle There will be days when mornings are a struggle There will be days when dancing feels good There will be days when music just can't give the right mood  There will be days when the food on the plate is wiped clean There will be days when a grain's left untouched or so it seems  There will be days when laughter echoes everywhere There will be days when not even a cricket's sound you can hear   There will be days when a short walk is enough to keep it at bay There will be days when you kneel and plead to make it go away There are days when the faintest of sunshine hurts your eyes And there are days when raindrops sound like solemn lullabies. PK.K.M.