Of Seas and Slip Ups

I was scrolling through Tumblr when I stumbled upon a photo by Jeremy Bishop. I visited his website and have been clicking on each picture in his online portfolio for the past thirty minutes. This image he called Sea Waves made me pause for a moment. I remember it's been a while since I drove to the beach. And maybe it'll take some more time before I could smell the sea breeze again.

Sea Waves by Jeremy Bishop

I spent the whole day yesterday in court. I sat across the bench almost the entire time while I discreetly massaged my lower abdomen. I've been suffering from terrible menstrual cramps for three days. I wanted to go out and come back when it is already my schedule but I didn't want to disturb the court proceedings. So I just pursed my lips and prayed to God that I get through the day. When my cases were finally called, I stood up and declared, "ready to present my witness, your honor" or "ready for cross, your honor." 

An old classmate from law school once told me to always say you are ready, even if in reality you aren't. Apparently, the court takes note of it then it will be reflected in the records. 

But up to what point do you mislead the court or your self?

Last Friday, I learned one of the most important lessons in law practice (and maybe in life, too), and that is the complete opposite of what my friend told me: learn to admit if you are not ready. Say you're unprepared if you truly aren't, or you'll make a bigger fool of yourself. (Just don't say it directly or often, that would make it appear that you don't do your duty 😅)

I'm gonna stop you from jumping to conclusions. I'm not a deadbeat attorney. I prepare my cases before going to court. I read the records, talk to my witnesses, check the evidenceーthe usual lawyering stuff. Since I am aware that I lack the required litigation skills, I try to compensate it by studying my cases so I don't embarrass myself, my clients, and my office. Ah, why do I sound defensive? Anyway, yesterday, I made a bad call and it blew up on my face! It was a terrible slip-up and I absolutely take responsibility for it. 

I narrated what happened to my officemates when I returned to my desk. Cza told me not to dwell on it because I can still make things right. She added that the court will understand if I ask for time before deciding on something. I did appreciate her sentiments being a senior lawyer, it's just that I hate making bad decisions, especially when it involves other people's lives. I talked to my clients after the hearing and they seemed content with what transpired or they just couldn't tell it straight to my face. I know I should not be too hard on myself as I've only been a trial lawyer for a few months. Besides, this isn't the first time that a lawyer committed an error (we have a bunch of cases to prove it!). I just can't help myself; I take my role as counsel seriously. 

I think about the sea and how easily it wipes traces in the sand. Wouldn't it be nice if we also have personal waves that could sweep all our mistakes away? Then again, what lessons will we pick up if something or someone's just gonna clean up our mess? Will we become a better person then?

Anyhow, it wasn't all that bad. I still had four favorable outcomes so why don't we focus on that? Chin up, self! You have plenty of chances to do better and wiser! Keep going! 💪