Pamamanhikan

A few weeks ago, I applied for leave so I could go home. Ambin's home isolation period was also about to end so it was perfect. We talked over the phone about what we'd do when we see each other. I said I have to go to Borongan City for my dental checkup. I was gonna be home for only a few days so I wanted to make the most out of it. We agreed to go together as he's been dying to eat lechon at Cebu's Best Boneless Lechon. It's also been years since he visited the city. I also asked him if we could drive to the beach. I miss the sea! 

We were making fun of ourselves when we got to the topic of us moving in together. We talked about buying furniture for our apartment which will be our home for our first years together. He wants to buy a TV, I want a sofa. I told him he should be in charge of the kitchen since he's a better cook, he said we'll just order take-out. Just another exchange of humorous banters that would sometimes get personal. Haha. Next thing we knew, we were planning on getting hitched and scheduling a pamamanhikan.

Ambin and I asked for our respective parents' blessing for our wedding way back in December 2019. Although we've announced our engagement years ago, we deemed it proper to still ask the people who guided and nurtured us. We spoke to his parents first before mine. After informing them of our supposed wedding schedule, we updated them on our wedding plans. It was easy talking to Ambin's parents since they have always been supportive of our decisions. With my parents though, we had to muster a little bit of courage. I think it is always harder to deal with a girl's parents; they tend to be more territorial and have difficulty letting go. 

Mama and Papa were watching TV when we approached them. I remember Ambin standing behind me when I started the conversation. He was quite nervous, he hardly said a word. Haha. But my parents have always been accepting of Ambin and our relationship. Papa simply said that we are old enough to know our responsibilities and reminded us to always put God in the center of our marriage.

So last week, I finally got home. We had small trouble at the office but was glad everything was sorted out fast. I was afraid my trip would get canceled again. On Thursday, Ambin and I drove to Borongan City just as planned. I had my braces adjusted and we applied for our CENOMAR. The next day, we went to the municipal hall to attend a Pre-Marriage Counselling and then had my sister file our application for a marriage license in the afternoon. That same day, Ambin's family was busy preparing food for the event later in the evening while we were focused on cleaning our garage where we will hold it. Yup, it was hectic! 

Pamamanhikan is a Filipino tradition where a man, together with his family, comes to the house of his beloved to formally ask her hand in marriage before her parents or family. It's an occasion where both families gather to foster better relations and discuss wedding details. 

Yet in our case, there wasn't much to talk about regarding our church wedding since we've laid everything out months ago. We did not ask for monetary support from our parents so we had the freedom to decide on all things related to our affair. Well, except for our principal sponsors and guest list. We initially had five pairs of sponsors and now we have fifteen! Once we reached the fifteenth pair, we told them it's enough. Haha. In fairness to our parents, they asked for our approval first. As to the guest list, we let them be because we don't know all our relatives. However, we kept it to the closest family and friends only. If it were up to us, we'd have 75 guests maximum. But we know it's impossible in the countryside. We'd be cursed for life by our relatives. Haha.

Ambin and his family arrived at past seven in the evening. My whole family was there was to welcome them. I was happy my grandmother was around to witness the occasion, being the only living grandparent that we have. That night, we talked about our upcoming civil wedding which wasn't part of the plan. The plan was to wed just once, at the church. But since the pandemic has put everything out in order, Ambin and I decided to have a courthouse wedding instead. We cannot let the coronavirus have its cake and eat it too, can we? 

My future in-laws brought a lot of food, I thought it would not fit on our buffet table. Ambin told me the day prior that they would only cook five dishes. I had to playfully pinch him for lying to me. I can only imagine how swamped their kitchen was the entire day and how tired his mom was! 

My niece and nephew provided the entertainment. They danced and made everyone laugh with their silly stories. Banana was all over Ambin, it was like I was invisible. I mean, this girl was just kissing and hugging me, telling everyone how she missed me, and then I was nothing to her! There was this moment when Ambin and I were sitting on a bench and then out of nowhere, she squeezed herself in, separated us, and sat beside her tito Ambin. That's my girl, alright! Haha 

We called it a night when the clock struck twelve. Ambin and I stayed to clean up while everyone bade goodbye. He arranged the tables and chairs while I washed the dishes. I sliced him a cake to bring home to his nephews and nieces. We talked a little bit. Then after we tidied the place up, he kissed my forehead and went home. A few weeks more and we'll never have to bid each other good night again! God is good!

I was ill at ease the whole day thinking about how this gathering would turn out. Don't get me wrong, there is no animosity between our families. It was just a tad bit uncomfortable talking about personal stuff with all our elders. Haha. Though now that I think about it, I guess it turned out great! 

I love this tradition that is uniquely ours. It's something that we should keep and observe. It's a wonderful start to married life as it strengthens bonds between families. Personally, I felt more welcome to Ambin's family because of their sincere gesture. I really appreciate the time and efforts they exerted in keeping with our customs. Yes, I am one lucky girl to be surrounded by kind and thoughtful future in-laws!

Hay, eto na nga. Magpapakasal na po kami, opo.