Keeping Faith

My fiance and I were on the phone again earlier, talking about stuff that we want in our little home. I have been browsing through Shopee and Lazada for hours to find cute covers for our inexistent sofa bed. I really want to have a chic yet functional living space. I purposely avoided buying furniture or appliances, save for a dining set, because I want to do it once Ambin gets here. I sound clingy but honestly, I just don't want to get solely blamed when things don't work out. Haha. Ambin, on the other hand, has been hankering for a SONY TV. I told him there's none here. He said we could go to Cebu City to buy one. I responded, yeah since there's a direct trip from Calbayog City to Cebu. However, due to strict measures currently imposed, Cokaliong Shipping Lines only allows cargo shipment at the moment. We both let out a deep sigh. Then somewhere in between our frustration of our present state and excitement of what's ahead, fond memories in the Queen City of the South were brought up as well as the rueful ones.

Back in law school, I'd endure eleven-hour travel to Cebu City whenever classes begin. From my hometown to Tacloban City, four hours. From Tacloban City to Ormoc City, two hours. And from Ormoc City to Cebu City, five hours. I would bounce from one vehicle to another, race against time, make my way through crowded piers and terminals, endure loud chitchats of fellow passengers, and transport luggage bigger and heavier than me. 

I often traveled to Cebu City via Roble Shipping—only patronized SuperCat and OceanJet in my final year. I was always in the economy class because I believed that tourist was beyond my means. Anything beyond the budget, beyond necessity, was a luxury for me. I couldn't ask my parents for more than they could provide; they, too, were struggling enough. One time, I was in the sitting area for the entire five hours! I wouldn't sleep deeply because I had to watch for my belongings. Twenty minutes before docking, I would walk to the exit area so I'd be one of the first passengers to debark the vessel and get into the van or taxi. And you know how much was a bed in the economy section? Around ‎₱300. For tourist? ‎₱500. Only about‎ ₱200 difference! 

I never really made a big deal out of my hardships for I knew I was blessed despite everything. I had classmates who were working full time and/or had families to support or attend to. But looking back at it now — my experiences as a law student — almost makes me feel sorry for myself. I can't believe the storms I had to weather just to make a dream come true!

Through God's grace, I can now afford to fly to Cebu or anywhere for that matter. If I had known before that time will definitely come that I'd be able to live comfortably, I would have accepted my trials with unfaltering faith and virtue. I would not have cried to God asking why I had to experience heartbreaks in varying levels of pain in all the churches I went to. I would not have questioned my capabilities. I would have kept going with so much eagerness and tenacity. But like what they say, it's all part of the journey. I don't think I'd feel that inexplicable humility and serenity that I felt once I achieved my goal if the circumstances were otherwise. Besides, like what Ambin said, asya ak magasa han una dara han ak mga pagkukuri. Yana mataba na kay hayahay na! 😂

Today, classes start for public schools. I can only imagine the troubles both the students and parents are going through in these trying times. The mental, physical, environmental, and financial exhaustion must be at the tipping point. I've seen students sell their precious books to buy laptops or tablets for their online classes, teachers solicit paper and ink donations for their students' modules, and parents go nuts working from home while attending to their rowdy children.

Even so, you who have a dream, who want to change your life or your family's, or who crave the freedom to be, must not be shaken. Certainly, your ordeals are different from mine. It may be harder, longer, or more complicated. Nevertheless, I guarantee you, your time will come, too. These are only bad days, there will be better days for sure.  Survive today so you can behold the fruits of your labor with such pride and joy in the future like I did years ago. Don't quit now. Keep the faith and keep at it. Your hard work will someday be rewarded.