Only The Young

Today, Facebook reminded me of a post I shared on this day two years ago. It was a photo of my 5-year-old self leading the pledge of loyalty back in grail school. In the caption of the said post, I wrote the lyrics of one of my favorite Taylor Swift tracks. It was my response to the malicious statements hurled against me by no less than our local chief executive earlier that morning via our community radio.

How did I become so special?

Days before that, I learned that the national government downloaded millions of funds to our local government through the Bayanihan One Act. To prevent the loss of lives and disruption of the economy due to the spread of the coronavirus, the government made sure that LGUs had enough funds to create measures or programs that would address the crisis efficiently. I'm sure it is still fresh in everyone's memory how things were during the first few weeks after the President declared a state of public health emergency throughout the entire country. 

After discovering these amounts, I published a post on Facebook inquiring about them. Where did it go? What did they do with it? In my mind kasi, if we have this much money, bakit ito lang ang serbisyong nararamdaman natin? I was also quite privy to the disappointing situation of our rural health unit since my younger sister was working there. 

Then that post became viral and got 200 shares. It turned out that a lot of people were not aware of this. Akala nila walang pera. So when they found out that we had millions stashed in the government's account, they, too, shared my sentiments. Naturally, it did not sit well with the administration's supporters. I was told not to go looking for it kasi hindi naman daw ako auditor. I was told to wait until everything gets liquidated. It caused such an uproar that our lovely mayor decided to wake up early on the morning of May 1st to shut her critics down.

Oblivious of what was going on, I went to Ambin's parents to buy food ingredients that morning. He was still in Quezon City at the time. Ambin likes to keep to himself so his mom would always talk to me to learn more about him. And that morning, we talked for a while. 

When I came back home, I noticed that my phone kept pinging. My batchmates were blowing up our group chat. I had to back-read 100+ texts. They were listening to the broadcast and were outraged by what they had been hearing. They were transcribing the statements and sending their respective commentaries. They were all so gigil! Can you imagine? So early and so loud!

Ayun na nga, I was being ripped into pieces very publicly. She did not mince her words and they were definitely unconstructive. She diminished my capabilities; called me a menace. Marami pa daw akong kakaining bigas. She even went as far as discrediting my whole family.

Buti na lang, we were not listening to the radio. I went downstairs and told my parents about it. Mama wanted to tune in but I told her not to as it would just infuriate her. I brushed it off and prepared to go to the beach with some of my friends just as planned.

When the evening came, I lay on my bed and played Only The Young repeatedly. I kept thinking about how I'd respond to that scandalous attack. I knew her camp was expecting a reaction from me. They wanted me to take the bait and prove that they were right about me. Honestly, I did consider writing another Facebook post to belie her claims. To skin her alive. To humiliate her. Just as she did me. But in the end, I decided not to. I thought if I made it personal, if I made the whole thing only about us two, it would not send the correct message. Because the truth of the matter is that the issue was bigger than us. It was not just a mere, unreasonable rant of a bored teenage drama queen; it was a legitimate grievance of a disgruntled citizen. It was an issue of bad governance affecting the lives of the entire municipality. That's why it became viral in the first place!

So I took out my childhood photo album to capture that old picture of me. I searched the lyrics of Only The Young and typed it as my caption. I wanted to tell them that this was the only thing that they were going to get from me—an old photo with a copy-pasted caption. For they did not deserve any more than that.

I thank God that I was more confident and secure with myself when it all happened. It could have been truly damaging and traumatizing. Imagine having just started your career and then getting lambasted in front of everyone by the most powerful figure in your community? It was horrible! Yet somehow, it did not faze me because I knew I was not like how she painted me to be. She did not, and still does not, know half of me. She is nothing but a stranger whose opinions are, quite frankly, positively irrelevant. Of course, I acknowledge that I am rather lucky to feel this way. I could afford to go against goliaths for I am educated enough to know my rights and to invoke them. I have also been blessed with opportunities that enable me to live independently, unbeholden to powers that be.

My parents were more affected by the incident, I suppose. Not only did they have to deal with their daughter getting humiliated in public. They also had to face the consequences of my actions, especially my mom who works in the mayor's office (she was transferred months later 😅). She actually scolded me and told me that I should not have published that post; that there's a proper way of dealing with things. Do you think the "proper" way works with this type of people? I responded. She resigned and said she'd have to get ready for it was going to get ugly. And it did. It really did. It still is.

A year later, I checked our LGU's annual report and the COA found that there were disbursements charged against the COVID-19 funds that were not supported with complete documents. So much for liquidation gatekeepers, no? Hay.

Using our voice and taking a stand⁠ can be both ⁠frightening and particularly lonely. I did feel that some of my friends distanced themselves from me. But I couldn't hate them for it because that's just how it is. Fighting for what we believe in oftentimes comes with a price. And sometimes, the costs are higher when we face bigger giants, which not everyone is built for. So even when it is difficult, even when it is unpopular, we who can, stand, nonetheless, because it is necessary. Because of others who can't. 

In a few days, we will elect a new set of leaders. It has been a long and winding journey, finally, we are nearing the end. I am terrified, to be honest. But seeing a lot of kids stand for truth and fairness keeps me hopeful and inspired. Like how Swift put it, only the young can run. And I really hope to God that us adults don't disappoint them.