Skip to main content

I Fear

A Last Goodbye by Alessandra Carloni, 2015

That one day you will go
And I will not say no
That one day you'll be gone
And I'll be left with none
That one day we will end
And all my dreams fall dead
That on that day I'll forget you
And everything you did.

PK.K.M.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

21

I had chicken pox on my birthday. Yes, on my birthday, and just before my midterm exams. I should have known. January 30th. I fell asleep in the afternoon which was unusual since I have been experiencing trouble sleeping for days now. When I awoke, I rushed to school only to find that our classes were canceled. I came home feeling tired and cold.  January 31st. My birthday. I woke up with a heavy head and chills. Then, when I scratched my rib, some fluid came out. I instantly knew something was wrong. I called my sister about my symptoms and she confirmed it. Chicken pox. On my birthday. Just before midterms. Of course, I went frantic. And of course, I kept on asking why this has to happen. Why now? Why this? Why me? Yes, I may have been a tad bit overdramatic. But it's just natural to question things when misfortunes after misfortunes come your way, diba? I was so stressed about it that I told my mom that if I don't make it this semester, I am going to quit law school. Just wh...

So Long, Old Self

Nine years ago I deleted my 9-year-old Facebook account and I'm glad I did, at long last. This isn't the first time I deactivated my social media account. I did it last year when I reviewed for the Bar. I was offline for about 4 or 5 months, though I wasn't on a total hiatus as I was active on Messenger and I'd sometimes check the social networking site to get my mind off things. But then 5 minutes later I'd get so annoyed by everything I see on my news feed and shut off my account again. I have been thinking of creating a new account since then. Ever since we outgrew Farmville, Facebook has become so toxic for me that I started hating it. Well, most of it was because of my own doing. Firstly, I added friends that I barely know. I'm a snob and people know that. So in an attempt to become more friendly and approachable, or at least appear to be one, I continued on accepting requests from kids that I haven't even met for as long as we have dozens of mut...

Love / Loss

 And I am in love, and I am terrified. There goes Katharine, my cue that I should stop, I should calm myself. I had to change my mood before my sister notices.  Curtained Balcony of Cordoba by Paul J. Bucknall, 2011 I stopped but tears still rolled down my cheeks. I sat silently in the veranda, wrapped my cardigan tighter to keep myself warm. That was the second time that I sobbed because of him. I had to cut our conversation so he wouldn't notice. Indeed, he didn't. I shouldn't feel this way. I knew from the beginning that everything will change and it would be pretty tough especially for me. I don't think it was a hasty decision because I was aware of it. I wanted it. I consciously agreed to it. And here I am, repairing my heart that suffers disappointment almost every day.  What I fear most these days is not of losing him one day, though I am almost certain it would not happen. On the contrary, I am afraid that I may lose myself along the way.  For days I have bee...